One of my challenges has definately been body and self image. I've always been quite negative towards myself. I focus on what needs improvement rather than my qualaties. The negativity led to depression and i was stuck in a negative cycle that was bringing me to ruins. I lost intrest in everything and was always body bashing and telling myself how badder person i was and wondered how anyone could like, let alone love someone like me. I thought i was ugly, fat and an all round horrible person. I had a mental list of 'stuf-ups'  and everytime i did something wrong i'd add it to my list and bash myself up about it. It got to a point where i was so depressed that i was self harming to feel better about myself. I wanted to die. The trains at the station looked inviting. To lie under that is. I was socially withdrawing myself and hiding the battered, bruised and bloodied up parts of my body. So no-one would know my awful secret. I was ashamed. And i wasn't getting better in my veiw i was only getting worse. I started to not eat at school i would take stuff so mum wouldn't know but i threw it out as soon as i got to school. Because i was up before everyone else i didn't eat breakfast. I was hitting the rocks. I was a million emotions at once, anger, fear, hope, angst. Always changing, never stable. But always the feelings of sinking were there. Eventually i ended up seeing the school chaplain and began a slow recovery. I was getting better. Then i hit year eight. My world kept spinning out of controll then mending itself, then turning upside down again. I resumed self harming. I hid it well. No-one knew. Not even my boyfriend of the time. I was insane. At least i thought so. My life just wasn't right. I hated everything about it. Everything in it but most of all i hated myself.

I'm still quite negative, I still have image problems. I still get that sinking feeling and i feel like I'm going to relapse. But I'm learning slowly but surely. I've found people who make me feel beautiful no matter what and don't care so much about my character flaws. I know that whatever problems I encounter I can rely on my friends to pull me through. My life saying is "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, But the moments that take our breath away." and "Beauty is only skin deep. Do not love for looks, Love for Heart and Mind instead."