Ok, Jess’s story is about a guy called Nathan and a girl called Kari and Mathan’s pregnant mum. They moved into a new house and the spirits that inhabit it are after them and want them gone. They begin a game where they have to win or the spirits will kill someone. There is alot of suspense in this story and i really like it. Jess was very descriptive and made the stry dramatical in an intense way. they way it is written is brilliant and i think she has done remarkably well. I love her writing. She could improve her spelling a bit and her layout needs fixing but the structure of the story is great! there is one bit where she slips between first person and third person but that can be easily fixed. It is great story and i admire the wirk that has gone into it. Well done jess. If you published this i would go out and buy it! well done!